“We are not going to be silenced.”

By Melina Costello

In Episode 25 of Unsugarcoated with Aalia, host Aalia Lanius, meets with legal advocates Sam Dordulian and Arpineh Yeremian for an intense and vulnerable conversation about the new Assembly Bill 218 (AB218). This bill opens up a three year window, from 2020-2023, for survivors of childhood sexual assault to file a civil lawsuit against their perpetrator even after their statute of limitations has expired. In Dordulian’s words, “This law finally gives voice to those who the courtroom door was closed for,” and provides “a chance for them to seek justice, for them to get healing at a time when they thought that would not be possible.” In this powerful episode, Aalia shares her own story of childhood sexual assault and how it feels to now have the opportunity to seek justice. 

As Dordulian and Yeremian have seen and Aalia has experienced, it takes victims of child sexual assault many years to process what happened and feel safe enough to come forward. “Most people who go through a sexual assault, be a child or even as an adult, do not report,” explains Dordulian. “We bring in an expert to explain to the jury that this is normal. You don’t expect someone to immediately run to the police.”

 Even once someone feels ready to come forward, Dordulian and Yeremian prioritize the victim’s mental health. Yeremian states, “To be the first point of contact for these survivors is crucial because they come to us for legal advice, but more often than not what we’re doing is counseling on a whole nother level. And that to us honestly, at least for me, takes priority over the legal advice.”

Dordulian and Yeremian have a team of legal advocates, two certified victim advocates, and a licensed clinical social worker. “I want to make sure that they’re okay and they’re ready and prepared for the road ahead because it’s not going to be an easy road,” Dordulian asserts. 

A novel feature of AB218 is the treble damages, which means that the verdict can be tripled if it is proved that an institution actively knew and covered up the sexual assault. Survivors speak up to obtain justice, not money, and while this feature can increase the amount of compensatory damages, it was “put in place to prevent institutions from allowing this to keep going in the future,” Dordulian proclaims.

Aalia shares her own experience within the institution that swept her allegations under the rug. The pastors that protected her predator would pray over her body then ask her, “Have you changed your story?” She would tell them no, but it didn’t matter what she said if it wasn’t what they wanted to hear. Aalia continues, “Then later on the pastor sat me down and said, ‘I do know you were telling the truth.’”

“Protect the children, create protocols, create systems, checks and balances. There’s red flags? Do something about it,” Dordulian declares.

Aalia, Yeremian, and Dordulian––all parents––discuss their approach to protecting their children from predators and how vital it is to make sure their children feel safe and comfortable sharing anything with them. Additionally, they address the signs to look for in a potential pedophilia. Yeremian informs viewers that the pedophile will usually look for a child who is vulnerable, then buy them gifts, give them attention, take advantage of a weak spot of theirs, or get close to the family. The pedophile grooms the child through methods such as these because they are able to build trust and fill a void. When trust has been built, it is very painful and confusing to the child to have this person, who they may have come to love, take advantage of them. They may not even process until much later that what this person was doing was so wrong or feel shameful because of it.

“These kids don’t know,” Yeremian expresses. “They shouldn’t know, and it’s up to us to normalize that very abnormal experience, to tell them it’s okay, we’re going to get through it. Whatever you’re feeling––the shame, the guilt, all of those things––we’re going to peel those layers away and with it comes closure and with it comes freedom.”

Furthermore, the lesson that children should always respect adults, especially those in positions of power, can be problematic, as children feel like they should always do what these adults say even if it is wrong. In the case of pedohilia, if this person in power, especially if they’re loved by the community, says “this is normal,” a child sometimes accepts that and they believe that. Aalia adds, “You think maybe they made a mistake, maybe I did something to give the wrong impression.”

Pursuing a civil lawsuit can be terrifying but also undeniably empowering for the survivor. Dordulian shares a significantly moving case with Aalia where a client of his broke down crying when her assaulter walked into the courtroom. She wasn’t sure that she was strong enough to continue, but she preserved and ended up having a very successful outcome. “She came to me and told me that was the most empowering moment for her because she was terrified of that man, but when she took the stand, he was the one that was scared of her,” Dordulian says.

Aalia asks Dordulian what he thinks is the greatest benefit of AB218, to which he responds, “the fact that they can now have a voice, the fact that it’s opened up again what was once closed. It redefines what childhood abuse is; it broadens the definition from what we had in the past. It also added several years to the reporting. Whereas before you had until the age of 26 to report, you now have until 40.”

“There’s a lot of fear of the uncertainty and of judgement,” Yeremian says. “I would just encourage everyone that if there’s a doubt, err on the side of asking, finding, calling. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, but often times that first phone call and that first share lightens our victims so much and it gives them that ounce of control that they have not had all those years and it’s a first step, it’s a building block to the next one.” 

“The end result doesn’t always matter, especially in this because the process itself of taking that control back and not caring what people think because you own your truth and you have your team behind you who’s owning it with you. That alone is enough.” Aalia agrees, stating, “At the end of the day it doesn’t matter if anyone else believes you. You know you’re telling the truth.”

CHECK OUT THE FULL EPISODE NOW:

Watch here on YouTube

Listen here on iHeart

Listen here on Apple Podcasts

Listen here on Google Podcasts

Listen here on Spotify

Listen here on Spreaker

For anyone in California who wants to reach out to Sam Dordulian or Arpineh Yeremian, you can either call at 818-788-4919, visit their website dlawgroup.com.