“It’s happening in plain sight, and also under cover of darkness.”

By Melina Costello

As Episode 33 of Unsuagrcoated with Aalia begins, Patrick Erlandson describes his passion for prevention, telling host, Aalia Lanius, “For me it’s like we need to do the rescue work, we need to get people out of that life, we need to give them a chance to have a new life, but to end it we have to go upstream and we have to start looking at those causes.”

Patrick Erlandson first learned about the tragedy of human trafficking in 2010, and immediately knew it was an issue that he couldn’t walk away from. Two years later, he had began the prevention subcommittee of the long beach human trafficking task, in addition to organizing a multidude of community events, the film festival See It End It, and Fathercon––all aimed to raise awareness and fight trafficking.

The effects of fatherless homes is one of the main causes that Erlandson focuses on. He explains, “Someone that’s got a hole or a gap in their life is going to be much more vulnerable to somebody coming up and offering it to them, which is exactly what traffickers and predators do.” Sadly, children often tolerate or even accept the abuse because of their deep desire to have a father figure in their life.

“Fatherless is not always necessarily physical,” Aalia points out. “It can be emotionally absent.” Being “disengaged,” as Erlandson calls it, also has dire consequences as it sends the message that the child is not worthy of their father’s time or love.

Erlandson wants fathers to be aware of the fact that they are going to shape their child in a way that is irreplaceable, and when that child feels abundantly loved by their parent(s), they will search for that same type of love, knowing fully that that is what they deserve. 

Efforts to prevent human trafficking are exceedingly important right now, Erlandson explains, as COVID has pulled much of life into the online world, which is where the majority of children are groomed for exploitation. 

The grooming process begins with a predator building a relationship of trust with a child, which can happen in as little as eight days. Once a child has exposed themself to a trafficker, especially if it is in a physical or sexual way, those photos, for example, can then be used against them.

Erlandson cautions parents to be watchful of changes in their child’s behavior, such as increased secretiveness, distancing from friends and family, and spending more time online. However, these can be normal teenage behaviors, so while it is important to be watchful, it is more important for parents to make sure their child feels safe confiding in them.

“Having someone that a child can trust is absolutely essential to prevention,” Erlandson tells parents. “We have got to become people of integrity, so you can’t be saying one thing and doing another in front of your children, and you have to realize that what you model is what they’re taking in as truth.”

Erlandson founded Father-Con because of his desire to share this message with fathers who have messed up, future fathers, and father figures. 

Just like how children who are being trafficked often feel too ashamed to tell their parents, fathers who haven’t been there for their children often feel too ashamed to change that.“What we really need is to create an environment where yeah, we’ve all messed up, we’ve all gotten off track, and the quicker we get back on track, the quicker our kids are going to be healthy and protected,” Erlandson says, recognizing that shaming and blaming is counterproductive.  

As the conversation returns to the dangers of the internet, Erlandson says that the demand for human trafficking is laregly being driven by pornography. The displays of mistreatment against women glamorizes these issues and causes a sense of entitlement in men. 

“We are entitled to the things that we have worked for, that we have been given, but we’re not entitled to taking someone else’s life, their dignity, their sense of self-worth, and that’s what we’re normalizing now in the media, in films, and in songs,” Erlandson asserts.

As the host and guest on Unsugarcoated with Aalia––a podcast which aims to empower, Aalia and Patrick agree that we must acknowledge, support, and inspire people in vulnerable places. “We have to see each other,” Erlandson declares. He urges listeners to take action, to realize that there is always something that can be done to make things better.  Be sure to check out the full conversation!